Friday, November 18, 2005

 

Wasti: Intro, opinion and outline

Task 1

My name is Wasti Darmayanti. I was born in Surabaya the second big city after Jakarta. My favorite activities that I do in the spare time are listening to the music or go for window shopping. My Favorite music is R & B and pop love songs. My ambition in the future is to be an English teacher for elementary school. It is inspired by my parents because I thing become a teacher is an honor duty to become a companion to the other to become smart. The last I really want to accomplish my parents dreams to make them happy in their old times.

Task 2

Using blogs in a writing course is an interesting and terrifying experience. I have ever heard a word blogs, but I do not know what the use of it. I realize that in a modern era right now I have to know but in the other hand I am afraid when my writing is read by other people. Right now people around the world will read and give a comment about it. Yet right now I have to learn to listen and accept other people opinion to become a good writer.

Task 3

Outline;

Thesis statement: Nowadays, boys are more pay attention for their appearance.

Topic sentence:

  1. Boys are pay attention for their appearance to be more attractive.
  2. They are willing to push traditional boundaries about become beautiful.
  3. Besides that they just want to keep their appearance looks good.

Conclusion: there is no wrong or right when boys or girls want to keep their appearance, so do not judge people from their outer.


Comments:
Wasti,

Your topic sentences are interesting. Please revise the grammar as follows:

Thesis statement: Nowadays, boys pay more attention to their appearance.

Topic sentence:
1. Boys pay attention to their appearance to be more attractive.
2. They are willing to push the traditional boundaries about being beautiful.
3. Besides that, they just want to keep their appearance to look good.

Conclusion: It is not wrong or right when boys or girls want to keep their appearance, so do not judge people from their outer appearance

About the order, I suggest you move no. 2 to the last.

Good luck!
 
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