Friday, November 18, 2005
Wasti: Intro, opinion and outline
Task 1
My name is Wasti Darmayanti. I was born in
Using blogs in a writing course is an interesting and terrifying experience. I have ever heard a word blogs, but I do not know what the use of it. I realize that in a modern era right now I have to know but in the other hand I am afraid when my writing is read by other people. Right now people around the world will read and give a comment about it. Yet right now I have to learn to listen and accept other people opinion to become a good writer.
Outline;
Thesis statement: Nowadays, boys are more pay attention for their appearance.
Topic sentence:
- Boys are pay attention for their appearance to be more attractive.
- They are willing to push traditional boundaries about become beautiful.
- Besides that they just want to keep their appearance looks good.
Conclusion: there is no wrong or right when boys or girls want to keep their appearance, so do not judge people from their outer.
Your topic sentences are interesting. Please revise the grammar as follows:
Thesis statement: Nowadays, boys pay more attention to their appearance.
Topic sentence:
1. Boys pay attention to their appearance to be more attractive.
2. They are willing to push the traditional boundaries about being beautiful.
3. Besides that, they just want to keep their appearance to look good.
Conclusion: It is not wrong or right when boys or girls want to keep their appearance, so do not judge people from their outer appearance
About the order, I suggest you move no. 2 to the last.
Good luck!
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