Friday, November 18, 2005
Tribuwana: introduction, opinion & outline
Hello..
I am Wana (Tribuwana). I am studying in Faculty of language and literature in SWCU in Salatiga now. I want to be a teacher and a journalist one day. I like sport, listening music and watching television. I'm happy when I found someone who like to talk about religi, pshycology and phylosofy. I live in a boarding house. In addition, I always miss my parents, and my sisters. Especially, my favorite foods. my main hobby is snacking, so if you come to my boarding house it would be better if you bring some snack ok. I thing it is a good idea:}
Using blog in a writing class is a new experience for me. Actually, it is interesting. In addition I can learn more how to writing well from your comment or critisms. I like to write a letter to my parents in Tegal and I really enjoy it. Yet, it is different if I have to write in “blog”. I hope there is always somebody who would like to give me a/some comment or “good” critism. So don't forget to give me critism or comment ok:) I appreciate it.
THANK YOU B4.
Outline
Your favorite music is a reflection of your personality.
# Jazz music reflect a person who has clear principle and very explicit.
# Indy music reflect a creative person and a person who brave enough to do some extraordinary things
# Classical music reflect a person who always keeps his principle and conservative
I am Wana (Tribuwana). I am studying in Faculty of language and literature in SWCU in Salatiga now. I want to be a teacher and a journalist one day. I like sport, listening music and watching television. I'm happy when I found someone who like to talk about religi, pshycology and phylosofy. I live in a boarding house. In addition, I always miss my parents, and my sisters. Especially, my favorite foods. my main hobby is snacking, so if you come to my boarding house it would be better if you bring some snack ok. I thing it is a good idea:}
Using blog in a writing class is a new experience for me. Actually, it is interesting. In addition I can learn more how to writing well from your comment or critisms. I like to write a letter to my parents in Tegal and I really enjoy it. Yet, it is different if I have to write in “blog”. I hope there is always somebody who would like to give me a/some comment or “good” critism. So don't forget to give me critism or comment ok:) I appreciate it.
THANK YOU B4.
Outline
Your favorite music is a reflection of your personality.
# Jazz music reflect a person who has clear principle and very explicit.
# Indy music reflect a creative person and a person who brave enough to do some extraordinary things
# Classical music reflect a person who always keeps his principle and conservative
Comments:
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Wana,
I can see that your developmental paragraphs will be an illustration of your thesis statement. That is a good approach.
I suggest that you change the tone of your outline to be more tentative by using modals like "may" because it is not a fact, it's only your opinion. For instance, "Your favorite music may be a reflection of your personality". The same goes with the topic sentences.
I think you need to change the order of your topic sentences. In my opinion, indy music can be put at the very end because it may not be familiar to your audience.
Good luck!
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I can see that your developmental paragraphs will be an illustration of your thesis statement. That is a good approach.
I suggest that you change the tone of your outline to be more tentative by using modals like "may" because it is not a fact, it's only your opinion. For instance, "Your favorite music may be a reflection of your personality". The same goes with the topic sentences.
I think you need to change the order of your topic sentences. In my opinion, indy music can be put at the very end because it may not be familiar to your audience.
Good luck!
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